God's Amazing Creation

God's Amazing Creation

About Me

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I love God!! I am a travelling RN working in labor & delivery. I have an AWESOME son & daughter in law and a brand new grandson! They will be fabulous parents because THEY are outstanding. I love the Seattle Seahawks...my favorite player hands down is Richard Sherman for a number of reasons. I love to draw portraits and I am dabbling with mixed media painting...I suppose I'm an artist! I love photography, but I'm a novice & am constantly practicing as I make my way through God's wonderful creation.

Friday, July 30, 2010

All for numero ??uno??

First of all, I really don't consider myself to be 'numero uno' but most ppl know the saying...
So, I'm not into editing my posts, or explaining them so that people who choose to read my blog can understand them, but apparently there are times that we must clarify things for people to help them relax.

Rather than put my business 100% out in the open I speak much of the time in third person or code. It seems that you can write a bit more creatively that way. I don't really consider anyone else to be just like me, or feel that anyone else actually draws a parallel between me & themselves (or anyone else in the world,) but I suppose when you're really looking hard for something,
you can find it.

Anyway....just to clear the air for anyone who really wants to know....my blog is about me. M.E. ME!! I vent here. I blow off steam here.
I talk about my adventures here.
I talk about my struggles. I talk about my life.
I talk about my good qualities.
I bash myself when I am behaving pathetically.
There are some who read it and pray for me. (Thanks ^.~)

I think it's okay to have an awareness that pushes you into some
from time to time...too often may be a bit unhealthy, but occasionally could actually prove to be good for you? I don't know. I've ridden my rollercoaster for quite some time now, like...my whole life...so I think it has actually helped me when I realize how pathetic I am from time to time. If others care to draw parallels between me and them, I suppose that's their perogative....but when I'm self-bashing, it's fully intended for just that
 and usually helps me to stop partaking in the behaviors that I'm bashing myself for doing.

If at any time someone happens upon my blog and decides that me writing about ME is offensive...my best suggestion is for them to stay off of my blog.
I write it for and about me!
(Well, and of course those who pray for me when I'm being pathetic.)

So....for all those ppl out in blog land who read this or any other blog...if you didn't like your visit, it seems that not repeating it is a superior idea.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

The old phrase; repetition, repetition, repetition....it's supposed to be the best way to learn something, right?
When we continue to do the same things over and over again, and get the same results...if those are positive results, reason would tell us to continue doing things exactly as we have been. When, however, the results are negative....repeatedly....it seems that we should possibly change our tactics.
Is this a difficult concept? Is this really all that hard to figure out?

Some ppl just don't get it. When someone says that they really don't like another, why does this one keep pursuing them? Is the chase that much fun?
 Why when someone makes it very clear that they'd really rather not talk to someone....ever....does that particular one hound them to no end until they talk to them just to get 'em off their back? Does it really make one feel good to know that that person is just appeasing them, but would NEVER have done it without being bombarded with such persistance? When someone doesn't get in contact with another first....EVER....why would one keep making the other miserable by hounding them anyway? What does this really accomplish?
Is there seriously that much of an illusion that one believes what they want to rather than the truth?  Is this real life or a fairy tale?

When one wants someone else to leave them alone (completely), in fact leave their entire family alone...why does this one hound their family & friends? Or have little gossip sessions with people they really have no business talking to in the first place.
 Does this make one feel superior? Does one feel like they are doing harm to the other party in some way? Is it a power trip?
Is it satisfying?
Does it make one feel as though they're accomplishing something good?

What would be the final blow? What would it take for us to figure out that what we are doing will never accomplish anything? (At least not anything positive.)
When will we realize that this behavior does not show the peaceful and loving nature that Christ would have us show? Will it be when Christ actually comes back? 
Will it really take that long? (IF it will actually be a LONG time before He comes.)
What would it take?
Is it even possible for us to stop?
Can we ALL open our eyes to reality here?

'He's just not that into you!'
'Dangerous Liasons!'
'We Don't Live Here Anymore!'
'The End Of The Affair'
'The Story of Us'
Ummmmmm, it's O.V.E.R.
Deal with it and GO ON.....bye bye!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sand Art

"Alien vs Bender" by Carl Jara
 You never really know what type of adventure you might come across while walking around downtown Port Angeles...
So....a few days ago, I was walking on the Discovery Trail, and this is what I discovered when I hit the pier!

I was absolutely amazed at the talent these artists displayed in their work.

This is my favorite, titled "Alien vs Bender" by Carl Jara


 "The Three Laws" by Damon Langlois (above)
1. A robot will not harm a human
2. A robot will not perform an action that will result in a human being harmed.
3. A robot will not harm itself unless in doing so, no harm will come to
a human.

"I'll Be Back" by Firat Uysal (Above)

"The Time Machine" by Dan Belcher (above)
"Planet of the Apes"  (missed the sign w the sculptor :/)
"Luke & Laia" by Sue McGraw (above)

A shot from a distance to show the actual size of the
sculptures. (Above)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Is it Really Over?

 BLACK...yes black is the color I need to use for this post's font.

I have so many questions...& I am just waiting for the answers. I know God answers in His own time. He tells us (as a friend reminded me recently) 'yes', 'no', 'not right now'....and we must be willing to wait. We must be ready to let Him make the decisions for us.
Some choices are definitely up to us to make...and He gives us the opportunity to make those. Sometimes, I tend to make choices while running on pure emotion. I get into defensive "attack" mode when I am hurt or scared....and especially when it has been a repetetive feeling and perpetual issue. My claws want to come out faster...the stay sharp. This is definitely not something I am proud of. I do not want to be emotional and dramatic and childlike. I seem to lose myself in my emotions and react, rather than be logical and just 'act'.

How, over all these years, all these wounds I have endured...and all the wounds I have inflicted, can this be the end? Now? Really? I have burned some bridges.  I am forced to travel...I have to work or he won't be happy. This is the only work I can find. Things are looking perfect. He's planning to come up here one day...then he doesn't like the questions I'm asking him about his extra curricular life & how he would feel if I participated in the same things....so he says, "I'm done with you." & hangs up.
That's it? Really?
So in my state of 'freaked-outness' I am trying to reach him, to no avail. Over and over....he refuses to answer. He avoids my calls, my emails, my texts. Oh dear...my emotional self is starting to take over. I forget to pray and ask God to help me because I am blinded by that glaring question...
That's it? Seriously?
After almost 16 years? I'm the only one who makes mistakes? Really? So in my, "I'll show you" state of mind...If you're done with me, I'm done with you too. (defense mechanism....HATE it.) I'll remove the things that you 'need' that have my name attached to them. Electricity, Internet, Phone, Gas, Dish... you can get them yourself if you're "done with me."
WOW, the fallout has been amazing. He suddenly finds an interest in God. (This is a good thing, but now...all of the sudden...really?) He suddenly is hurt beyond belief & can't trust me not to 'do it again.' He has done "nothing at all wrong." I'm just increasingly more 'unstable' and he can't 'reason' with me. REALLY? I suppose it IS hard to reason with someone you refuse to speak to. I suppose I can see that. I know that all the 'fam', who have never liked me anyway, are a huge driving force behind it. Not to mention the friends from work...and the other 'haters' he has created. (with my help, I'm sure)
I WISH all of these people could have been a fly on the wall in my "home" during all the years leading up to this. I won't even begin to try to convince them that the man they think they know is SO NOT real. Only ONE other person was privy to the mental horrors flowing thru our "home" & he knows the REAL man. One thing I was really raked over the coals for was posting personal info on facebook. HA! I gurantee that he has not been chastised one single time for keeping the dirt on me up on his facebook wall. I immediately removed the stuff from mine... one of those things called being truly sorry for what I'd done. A concept foreign to him. (because, of course, he "does nothing wrong"...ever.)
I suppose if I was a little more 'fake' then I could have everyone fooled too. I can't be someone different in every different situation. I sorta have to just go with the flow & fallout of my "what you see is what you get" personality. I know it offends some. I don't mean to offend ppl, but it certainly does happen. I do try HARD to make ammends when I realize that I've offended someone. I just think that the world would maybe be a better place if more people were their real self all the time, instead of putting your 'church self' on for Sunday, your 'work self' on for work days, your 'flirty self' on when it suits you, and your 'oooh, you're my friend!!' self when you really can't stand someone....I'm sure there are tons more personalities...and I could name 3 or 4 more when it comes to him...but I'm not here to bash him. I'm just here with questions....well, ONE question. 
Is it really over
I know that I won't get the answer from him. Not anytime in this century anyway. That's a tough question. Regular questions never were graced with answers, so I can't expect a hard question to get one. Instead....I'll be ignored...avoided at all cost. That's how I get answers. I have to just figure it out.  I guess I can deal with it.  Maybe if someone gets an answer to my question, they can just let me know. 
Until then...I'm going to be waiting. Still loving him despite all. Still wanting to work it out. Wanting to share the next chapter in our lives together in bliss. I guess God will work this out in His time. One way or another. Patience is not one of my strong points....but I have an AWESOME GOD! A great job, great co-workers, an amazing son, and a loving family.
What more could I want...except just a simple answer to my question.
Is it really over?

Hiking Marmot Pass

 So...it's a gorgeous summer day in the Pacific Northwest and of course...I'm going to find a hike if I possibly can.
After surfing the net to find the perfect place, I came up with Marmot Pass.
It's next to the Big Quilcene River in Mid-SW Washington.
The day started at about 65 degrees, ZERO humidity...and ended up getting to about 75. Perfect hiking weather!

 Elevation started at 2400 feet. The air was crisp and clean. The Big Quilcene River was roaring on my left. There were posted warnings of recent bear sightings in the area, so I was equipped with my 'bear bell'  and was as noisy as I could be. So far, I have not been face to face with a bear in the wild and I don't think I'd want to! This is a 'self pic' taken with my little tripod. It's really coming in handy! I was probably about 2/3 of the way up the mountain at this time.

This is an (obvious) hand held self pic... the gorgeous mountains in the background are what I was privy to gaze at once I got about 1/2 way up the pass. This was the view on the left side of the path. The going was just starting to get tough about this time, so the treat of having such an amazing view was quite a helpful motivator for me!
Below is the view on my right. The flox and other wildflowers were in full bloom and just gorgeous with the rocky mountains to offset them in the background. There were several different colors to enjoy...2 or 3 shades of purple, yellow, red, white and orange.
Another shot of the beautiful, snow covered mountains with wildflowers in the foreground.  The elevation at the top was 6000+ feet...so the total climb was about 3500 feet. Fairly steep the entire way.      5.2 miles...one way. My legs were pretty much screaming "WHY are you doing this to us?" for the last 1/4 or so of the trip up! The views were definitely worth the hike. I probably saw about 15 people along the way.  I was feeling pretty wimpy off and on, but I'm a novice hiker, so it can only get better, right? I plan to become a PRO...and I am loving the journey. It is really rewarding when feel like you've accomplished something. I get very close to God on my trips just marvelling at His creation. It's amazing that He actually knows me and loves me. I feel so small when I look at all the wonderful things He created. SNOW!!! Yes, I ran into snow. I captured one of the 'tunnels' the snow made...and this is where I had to stop. :(  The tunnelling can cause you to fall through, frequently hyperextending knees, twisting ankles, etc. not to mention that there was enough snow, without footprints, or trail markers...and I lost the trail. Considering that I was in new territory (for me) I thought it would be best that I NOT get lost! I'd hate for someone to have to come looking for me all the way up there!! So, even though I didn't make it all the way to the top (a hiker who had been there said we were about 1/2 mile from the top when we hit snow)...I DID experience the beauty of God's creation, in complete solitude, and spent much of the day in prayer just thanking Him for allowing me to be there with Him and for the blessing of my health. I am so fortunate!!  
I must make a note to say that I was VERY happy to see my car...and the next day, I could hardly walk!! My gluts were more sore than they've ever been...but it was still refreshing and I look forward to heading up again in about a month to see if maybe the snow will be melted or if there's a more clear path to the top!! 
I wish my Randy was here to enjoy this with me! I guess I've made him mad enough that he's not going to talk to me anymore. I'll just keep on praying & God will work it all out.   

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

An 11 mile hike...

A gorgeous day in Port Angeles & Sequim, WA afforded me the opportunity to take a lovely hike at the Dungeness National Wildlife Refuge down the Dungeness Spit to the lighthouse!

 This is completely a beach walk, 5 1/2 miles one way and flat the entire way. The difficulty comes in when you encounter the soft sand, which is, surprisingly, quite a workout to tackle.
Work out is what I need, and I was granted stellar weather in which to participate!
 To the locals, it was one of the hottest days ever on record, in fact, Port Angeles broke heat records both this day and the day before with temperatures of 90 both days. HA!
Having been in Arkansas for 20 years, along with my recent trip to Bible camp where there was 99 to 102 degree weather every day, 90% humidity and no air conditioning...this 90 degree, ZERO humidity day was most welcomed and beautiful in my book!
 The first time I took this trek, I was not in the best of shape and I only made it about 2 1/2 miles before realizing that the further I went, the further I'd have to walk back.....so I turned back without making it all the way to the lighthouse.
I have to say this is my favorite pic from the trip. I wish I wasn't so botanically challenged....lol....but I am so I don't know what type of flowers these are but they created the perfect, shapely contrast in front of the sharp edges of this antique lighthouse.
There is opportunity for locals to be "lighthouse keepers" should they choose to volunteer. This consists of learning the story behind the site, giving tours when people actually make it all the way to the site, and staying there in the peaceful solitude for an entire week at a time!
The seals bounce playfully in the surf daily, and the female seals pup in the are at the end of the spit. The only 'traffic' you receive at the lighthouse would be foot traffic and boat/kayak traffic. You have a magnificent view of the olympic mountains on one side and of the Strait of Juan De Fuca on each side of the spit and of Mt Baker across the strait on clear days. I may look into volunteering at some point! What an awesome way to get away from it all!

Independence Day

 I had the pleasure of going outside in the front yard and just standing there to watch the marvelous fireworks displayed in Port Angeles this year for the 4th....
Yes, I was alone, but I DID have my hubby on the phone when it started, so it didn't seem so lonely.
 I was pretty much oblivious to how my camera worked to take these pix, so I was adjusting settings trying to see which angles and settings captured the best. SO.....
enjoy the pix!
More on facebook!

I had NO idea that this would be a foreshadowing of a true independence day in my own life....not by my own choice--but my man told me he was done with me....
I'm still dealing with this....