God's Amazing Creation

God's Amazing Creation

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I love God!! I am a travelling RN working in labor & delivery. I have an AWESOME son & daughter in law and a brand new grandson! They will be fabulous parents because THEY are outstanding. I love the Seattle Seahawks...my favorite player hands down is Richard Sherman for a number of reasons. I love to draw portraits and I am dabbling with mixed media painting...I suppose I'm an artist! I love photography, but I'm a novice & am constantly practicing as I make my way through God's wonderful creation.

Friday, October 29, 2010

The End of a Long, Tough Trip

Well...It's the end. It's actually almost over.
"It takes two to tango"....very popular phrase, though it seems that most people don't actually believe it.
I've made SOOOO many mistakes.
I've honestly tried to learn from them. Yes, I've repeated some..and repetetively repeated others. Not that I wanted to, it just happens sometimes. I guess because nobody is perfect.
ESPECIALLY NOT ME!

What I wanted more than anything else was just for him to care.
I better rephrase that...for him to care about me.
I guess that's just not going to happen.
Ever.

Would I be willing to work it out?
Yes.
Would he have to show some kind of effort first?
Yes.
Is that likely to happen?
NO.
Not
Ever.

WHY?
Because there has not been a time in recent years that (in his mind) he has done one single thing to contribute to the issues. It has been all me and my mistakes.
Do I admit my mistakes?
Yes.
Do I work hard to mend my shortcomings?
Most of the time.

Why is it so difficult to make a decision about something? Why is it so hard to admit that you're not perfect? Why would he rather spend his life alone or living in a sinful relationship than try to make things right? Why won't he try? Why is he too busy to talk to me?
People MAKE time for what's important to them.
Plain and simple.
Can a relationship actually work if the parties involved speak to each other less than once a month? Communicate with each other only via short, not so sweet texts and emails?
I don't believe so.
It has not been successful in this case anyway.

My spiritual life has suffered from this.
My soul is in excruciating pain.
I feel like a failure.
I've let God down. 
It is almost over.
Money is paid, process is underway.
I pray that I survive this.
It is overwhelming.
Pray for me
please.