- SweetMother ;)
- I love God!! I am a travelling RN working in labor & delivery. I have an AWESOME son & daughter in law and a brand new grandson! They will be fabulous parents because THEY are outstanding. I love the Seattle Seahawks...my favorite player hands down is Richard Sherman for a number of reasons. I love to draw portraits and I am dabbling with mixed media painting...I suppose I'm an artist! I love photography, but I'm a novice & am constantly practicing as I make my way through God's wonderful creation.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
How Is That Love?
Okay...I missed 5 minute Friday, didn't do a 6 minute Saturday to make up for it (because I've been out with a migraine, but you know what excuses are like.....)
So here I am doing a 7 minute Sunday
Yes, I know it is the Lord's day, and I was perfectly focused on that (and will be again shortly)
I guess that there are always people and situations in my life that are able to fire me up quicker than anything.
You all know, if you have read my blog AT ALL, that there is one human being walking this earth that I have put all of my heart into. One who I love more than words can even describe. We get along so perfectly. God's design was such that I have learned from him from the day he was born. Much of my character has been built on the relationship that we've had over the years. My life has completely revolved around him, even when it should have been revolving around other things. I can't help it. I have been in love with him since before I ever even saw his face.
I am a laid back person.
This is not my self assessment, but it is what I hear from the people who are around me. My co-workers, the people I attend worship services with, my extended family members.
I am also an intense person at the same time.
I am an all or nothing kind of person, therefore when I put ALL of my worldly effort into something--someONE--I am so invested in it (him) that when anything or anyone tries to jeapordize that, I am like a Mother bear. I would give up anything, I would DO ANYTHING to prevent it from being destroyed.
In months past, I have been accused of feeling things I do not feel, of saying things I did not say, of having intentions that never crossed my mind...and all in order to destroy the beautiful relationship I share with this boy.
When he is in a marvelous place, involved in something that he wants to continue for the rest of his life...something that makes him so happy, then it stands to reason that if anyone tries to destroy that for him (HAS destroyed it for him) that I would have some ill feelings about it, right? If his happiness and wellbeing is my #1 concern, then it makes perfect sense that it would rub me WAY wrong if someone (ANYONE) continually jabs at him in order to distupt his world, doesn't it?
Is it God's will for our relationship to suffer so much over one thing? Is it simply in the cards for me to lose the beauty of our lifelong connection, our friendship, just because the author of this fairy tale wants it to dissipate? Because it is imperative that he can only have one or the other? Is it fair that he should have to choose?
He has felt such an intense pain over the recent loss (which was caused, largely, due to the fact that it didn't fit into the author's fairy tale) so was it just in the cards for him to turn his back on me in order to fit into the story line?
Why does it have to be that way?
Why does he have to pick me or the story?
Why can't we all be a part of the it?
Why is it okay for me to have that pain, mourning over the loss of him, just so the author can feel warm and fuzzy?
How is that love?